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All the about Pkchukiss's life in the Singapore Armed Forces

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Imaginary CD player

While reading a book on financial management, my brain somehow decided to get excited about my portable CD player. Don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with sexual stimulation. I was getting so involved in it that I began to dream about all the possible featuers of the perfect CD player. Thought I would like to share it with you:

Features list:

  • 500 seconds buffering for playback (effectively placing 2 to 3 songs snug for when doing those crazy aerobic workouts)

  • Dual pick-up lens (so that if one gets knocked off, the other can pick off)

  • 100 hours guaranteed long play on 2 AA alkaline batteries (2 batteries is all you need for that holiday trip of yours!)

  • Error correction algorithm to over come reading errors from the CD

  • CD-R, CD-RW support

  • MP3 compressed inside ZIP/RAR archives support (Now that will pack a lot of music inside)

  • Virtualiser for 6 channel sounds (Great for surround sound CDs)

  • Electronic equaliser with 25 tunable frequencies, including an "Gain" lever, and bass booster

  • Anti-rock positioner helps keep pick-up lens stable from all the shakes and knocks, effectively eliminating skipping music

  • Internet connectivity to stream Internet radio formats

  • Pick up over the air FM radio transmission, with advanced tuning for out of the area broadcasts

  • Lyrics display support

  • Sleep timer for those who bring their CD players to sleep with them, and do not want to waste the batteries (hell, I think this is redundant if a CD player has 100 hours of playback!)

  • Organic LED 65535 colours display to display a visualised version of the music (Refer to Winamp's Visualiser to see what I mean)

  • Song bias information to give more opportunities to songs which the listener likes to be played when in "Random" mode

  • Fingerprint access system to allow only the owner to operate the player

  • Support wireless headphones and remote control with wireless range of 10 metres

  • Rubber armour to keep the player safe from water splashes, accidental drops, or simply to smash over a moron's head.

  • Auto-protection of the lenses whenever the player is opened

  • Negative air-flow system with high-grade air filter ensures clean air goes into the CD player, and keeps the system cool

  • Air suspended rotation tab to minimise friction, resulting in less mechanical wear and tear.

I guess I had better stop. The drool is already threatening to flood the keyboard. Perhaps that will set the challenge to the engineers of CD player systems. Hopefully, I would be able to see such a product in my lifetime (perhaps I might pay a premium for it?), and fulfill my craze. As we can see, some of these features are within reach, while others will remain just what they are: a dream. What was I thinking? Negative air flow system? I've got to be kidding. How could anyone port a clean room technology into a portable CD-player?

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