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All the about Pkchukiss's life in the Singapore Armed Forces

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Virgin trip to the prostitute

My friends were all keyed up for this trip: we had it planned for many weeks, and secrecy was really of dead crucial importance (now we don't want the parents to know prematurely, do we?). The decoy was simple: I would tell my mother that I was going to the local LAN shop to play [>>> DoTA <<<] with my friends, and won't be back until after mid-night.

Since many of these LAN shops do close in the dead of the night, I had no trouble sliding it past my mother.

Slinging a change of clothes in a bag, along with a towel and some toiletries (now was I going to the red-light district, or going on an overnight stay with a friend?), I met the guys at 8 pm. I could see the prostitutes hanging around the streets, eyes peeled wide open for potential clients. Meekly, I approached one of them:

Me: Excuse me, erm... do you provide that kind of service? (pointing to the condom I had purchased at 7-eleven earlier)
Girl: (as she was finishing her compulsive hair-tying) Yes, what kind do you want?
Me: What do you mean?
Girl: You want express or full?
Friend: He wants the express (pulls me aside)

"Trust me, you will want the express service," he whispered as the girl suddenly turned on her charm, and flashed her dark eyebrows at me.

"What? I don't even—" I started to protest when he simply went up to the girl (she must have looked at most around my age) and the two started to haggle. Before long, they were done (I was amazed by the amount of cash he handed over to her), and the girl came to me, and pulled me into one of the nearby bargain hotels: "You sign in, I wait for you."

Dumbly, I passed the completed form to the receptionist, who tried her best not to look at my already flushed face. After hitting a few keys, she took a key fob from a hidden drawer, and gave it to me, and kindly reminded me of the presence of condom dispensers in the staircase away from the main entrance.

In case you were wondering, the above account didn't happen at all. I didn't lie to my parents about any hidden trip to a prostitute. Rather, this post was inspired by BadAunt, after she ranted wrote about bloggers whom [>>> felt that they had nothing interesting <<<] to write about. Yes, I am a guilty party.

Though the raging male hormones in me plead otherwise, I remain comitted towards retaining my virginity — all for the joy of sharing it with my future love of my life, whoever she may be.

Disclaimer: Kids, do not try this at home! Lying to your parents can be an extremely habitual addiction that can lead to you being grounded, or having privileges revoked, or caned severely. Not to mention visiting a prostitute. (This is controversial, since certain parents are more open to this than, should I add, most others.)

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