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Monday, May 02, 2005

Excellence... or comfort?

While swimming is my perpetual obsession, I never really found a way to tear myself from my computer to even do it as an indulgence: the lure of the Internet is even greater than my physical need to expend energy.

But this being one of the rare days where I found myself able to get up at 8 am (a relatively unearthy time for a public holiday), I managed to get a few friends along (dragged them, really) for a dip in the nearby pool.

The hot weather made the coolness of the water seemed even more inviting. I did a few somersaults, immersing myself in the hugging comfort of the water. Disappointingly, there was not much to see on this day: all the kids were staying away for some reason, perhaps they are mugging for their mid-year examinations this early? I saw a few toddlers frolicking (is this the right word?) in the wadding pool, and could not help but feel a pang of nostalgia: how I wished that I were small again, without any care of the world, my parents looking out for me, and the heavy burden of the world seemed so far, so far away...

Ahead of me lies another busy week inside camp: there is some marksmanship test coming up, IV revision (I always hated that thing!), and the Standard Obstacle Course. I still wonder why I bothered to even make an effort to go through all these things, when many of my friends chose to downgrade and satisfy themselves with deskbound jobs. Less pain, more comfort. Perhaps I am just too dedicated towards all my work? I don't know.

But the conflict exists: between my want for a less tough national service, and my instinct for wanting to finish all that I have started, I stand perched precariously (and painfully) impaled on the sharp spikes of the fence. Here's to hoping that I don't get in too deep.

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